My high school Art teacher lost his son this week in a plane crash. My friend lost their job, lost some subscribers, another friend lost their phone. My heart and condolences are with my teacher and for those who lost a family member. Much was lost this week.
This is about to become difficult to write . . .
In the laws of physics related to thermodynamics, ‘energy can neither be created nor destroyed.’ Energy is not lost, perhaps only transferred, transformed.
Hello from the other side.
What can I say to my teacher?
The physical space that a loved one held has ceased to grow alongside us. The physical space that we recognize, that we could touch and hold is not within our grasp anymore. Their eyes reflecting back to us our own humanity, perhaps a sense of purpose, are closed to us. Our own eyes are closed by the mind which attaches only to the physical.
We say that they are lost. Our hearts bleed. We recognize a hole, a space where they held us together. Now the blood flows out. Emotionally we have lost them.
Emotions can be physically measured. Scientifically meaning that there is energy behind our emotions. Our emotions have the power to change us. Our feelings about loss will transform us.
Our emotions change, will change us, will transform us and our feelings. Emotions being energy cannot be destroyed. It’s confusing and liberating.
We are more than the limitations of our physical presence, of this human being skin. We are composed of our fears of the dark, and spiders, snakes, being alone, and composed of compassion and love. Our emotions are the energy that is our deeper being, our truest self. Often times we only recognize these when we have lost something, someone deeply important and close, one who’s light reflected back our own.
I feel deeply for my teacher. I haven’t seen the man in over 15 years, but his energy continues to inspire me. He first taught me about the subtleties of light. He taught me how light energy is transferred to film and a memory is frozen in time. I still shoot with film cameras, there is magic in the light. Perhaps I carry around a bit of my teachers light in each picture I take. HIs energy continues to transform.
The light that was reflected back to us by another is not lost, that someone or something deeply important to us is not lost. They have transformed. The space that our mind conceptualized, compartmentalized them into has become space for us to recognize our own light that we will connect with them. Sometimes we have to go to a deep place to recognize this light within. Sometimes this deep place comes at great loss of physical presence.
The energy from his son, his energy remains. His light will always be carried in my teacher. My teachers light hopefully will carry through in each picture I take.
All of what we think of as ‘lost’ I would like to think of now as space. Space for growth, for seeing light differently, for transforming our own energy.
With all that was lost this week. The closing mantra in the Ashtanga practice asks that the ‘leaders of the earth protect in every way by keeping to the right path.’ May we pray that they move from a place of compassion, may their decisions not be made in fear and anger. May all of our decisions not be made in fear and anger. May we have compassion, recognizing the light that we carry as the same in all of us.