Received

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I only want the best for you. I want for you to go beyond me. I want your heart to heal, I want your life to be full of love and meaning. I want you to experience joy, satisfaction, knowledge of light and life. I want you to cease striving for perfection and strike that word from your thoughts as if it were yesterdays candle that has gone out. 

I want you to realize that you are present for whomever is in front of you. I want you to realize that I am proud of you. I want you to believe that you are worthy. You are worthy of love. Worthy of belonging. I want you to know that you are not the voices in your head, and I dare you to accept this love.

*Received

1- be given, presented with, or paid

2- suffer, experience, or be subject to (specified treatment)

I am thankful for my family and my teachers, my lovers, my friends, and strangers. I am quick to give thanks. I’m quick to give in general. The nurse in me, the yoga teacher, the older brother; I want more than the best for you. And you, you have given your love, given thanks. Presented me with knowledge, experience, joy and satisfaction. 

In all of this thanks, in all of this love. I have not allowed you to love me because I could not receive. I have made us both suffer because I couldn’t be given over to the praise, I wouldn’t allow myself to experience you. 

I suffer because . . . because I don’t feel worthy of this kind of love, as if my self-worth is valued below receiving? As if I’m not perfect enough yet to be loved, because my flaws do not fit into your perfect imperfections?

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I give until I am broken and then give you those broken pieces. I give more, and I expect you to receive them, but I can’t give you the satisfaction of giving because I can’t receive. I can’t receive the love you shower upon me? 

ASSIGNMENT 

We shape our world by how we see it. When you are done reading this, close your eyes. It is a beautiful world in there. All of the answers are there, right in front of you. The question is are you ready to see it? (for a scientific explanation of this read this article.) The road less traveled will not be found by googling it.

I have been humble when I should have remained steadfast, and proud when I should have been humble. I am thankful for receiving your gratitude and love.